Friends Monica

“You can't make new old friends.” It's wise counsel to take time and nurture your friendships. In my 23 years as a divorce and child custody lawyer, ...

I highly recommend that you call an old friend, arrange to meet for a pizza and nurture that friendship over some fresh and delightful salads. It’s the adventure and the comfort of knowing someone, and just ‘being’ that provides the sense of place in the world. This is a gourmet pizza place with a selection of creative and enticing salads. Our Spartacus pizza came with large slices of spicy pepperoni and crumbled fennel sausage and we deemed it a winner. We stop at Peggy Sue’s, have coffee in the morning at the bakery, stay at New York New York and it is that consistency which provides the security. John wanted the kale, and I have to say that after my initial reticence to something I have always thought of as a garnish, it was quite pleasant. In my 23 years as a divorce and child custody lawyer, the one thing that I have seen time and time again with the (mostly) men that I represent is the absence of their support network. Would he have not made such a drastic choice if he had more male friendships, who knows, what I do know is the sense of hopelessness, the isolation, the desperation was overwhelming him. Now we normally go to Bruno’s for a pizza, but there’s a new pizza place in town to try called Ghisallo. While I certainly have had cases where this is true, in many cases, the reality is that for many a man, it just seems easier to live the ‘happy wife, happy life’ path and let their partner decide all social activities. The cost of lack of a safe male space for a man to share his doubts, fears, and insecurities with another man and get the type of support and insight they need. Whether it was the ‘quilting bees’ of yore, or the true ‘gentlemen’s clubs’ or just hanging at the garage while Gomer rebuilds a ’57 Bel-Air, the fact is that people got comfortable talking about what was happening in their life and getting feedback and support, sometimes nothing more than a gentle nod and a “Yep, been there and it sucks” can be helpful.